Stay Tuned For The Adventures Of Douchy Fucktard and Dickface Twatmongrel

On my way to work this morning, I enjoyed yet another daily dose of the special brand of North Texas road rage I have become so accustomed to in my fifteen months here in Corinth. Driving in Texas makes me want to donkey-punch folks in the back of their heads. I have driven through many, many states in this fine country of ours, and none of my East coast driving experience seems to recall such a large quotient of yahoos who refuse to grace the rest of us on the road with such simple, basic courtesies of the road. You know--things like using your fucking blinker.

So I'm on the local on-ramp that gets me to the highway here that leads me to work every morning. Well, I do my polite part by slowly heading down this oh-so-special on-ramp lane that merges into one of only two lanes on this highway-that-should-really-be-four-lanes. I'm not going too fast, as not to be the asshole who blazes down the merge lane, waiting until the last minute before cutting in front of the hapless old couple driving the '78 Vista Cruiser. Anyway, I'm trying to ease my way onto the highway, and there's some jackass fucktard in a Ford Exposition who gently speeds up to just the right speed that impedes my entry onto the highway. I punch the accelerator a bit, as the merge lane is ending, and doing its merge-thing onto the main highway. Well, doesn't the twatmongrel in the Exposition speed up even more, to keep me from getting onto the highway...by this time, I am near punching my steering wheel, and spouting nonsensical profanities such as Fucknut, Dickbag, and gangly-armed shitbrick.

To make a long story short, I sped up a bit and landed a sweet spot on I35E-South just two vehicles ahead of the Douche in the Exposition. I turned one last time to flip the fuck off, and laugh at his 'my future's so bright, I've gotta wear shades,' shades at 6 in the morning...

Fuckin' Texas...