The Madness Continues...

The Fly was great. It had been awhile since I last saw that flick. One of Jeff Goldblum’s best performances, as far as I’m concerned. His transformation into Brundlefly is engaging and visceral. I love how so many of Cronenberg’s movies focus on the human psyche and interpersonal dynamics & the role they play in everyday life. I caught an advanced screening of ‘A History of Violence’ last month, and loved it. While so many are touting the flick as Cronenberg’s most commercially accessible movie, I enjoyed it for the fantastic character development & the great acting of Maria Bello & Viggo Mortensen.

After The Fly, most of the next few movies were ones I have watched in the past. I threw in Dario Argento’s ‘Phenomena,’ which I found to be decent. I must admit that I don’t hold the same fascination for Argento that some do. I enjoy his visuals, and appreciate his movies for the ripple effect that they have created in the horror genre, but his movies don’t really scare me, per se. They’re more of a tripped-out ride in the realm of some dude’s subconscious fantasies…

Phenomena led to ‘The Entity,’ a movie I stumbled upon about a year ago. The premise of this flick involves Barbara Hershey as a single mother who is repeatedly raped & attacked by a ghostly presence. This movie proves much more effective than the bullshit PG-13 schlock that is constantly being churned out by Hollywood.

After a vote with the folks I’m staying with, the next movie shown was Rob Zombie’s ‘House of 1000 Corpses.’ I like this movie for its intent, and for Zombie’s vision, albeit a vision that borrowed heavily from his own influences. Personally, I liked ‘The Devil’s Rejects’ more than ‘Corpses,’ but both movies hold repeat viewing value for me, which is good enough to warrant Halloween weekend marathon status to either.

I’m about to watch ‘Incident On and Off A Mountain Road,’ which is the first installment in Showtime’s Master of Horror series. This is some serious shit for us horror geeks in the world. We’re talking about the minds that brought us such movies as Phantasm, A Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Audition, Reanimator, Suspiria, The Stand, Halloween, and An American Werewolf in London. I am interested to see how this ‘episode’ plays out, as I have high hopes for this project.

More to come…

Let The Festivities Begin

I started off the Halloween weekend movie marathon by watching 'The American Nightmare,' a documentary that examines some of the seminal horror flicks from the 60's & 70's. I found this highly enjoyable because it contained a lot of director commentaries that examined the societal issues and influences of the time, and how they related to or were reflected in the movies discussed. Some of the horror greats giving insight in this documentary include John Carpenter, Tom Savini, Wes Craven, David Cronenberg, Tobe Hooper, John Landis & George Romero. Great stuff.

Next, I indulged in the campy classic, Evil Dead 2. I love the Evil Dead movies. When I was a teenager, there was a period of time where my siblings were living with my grandmother, and I was staying with my father (my mom had died years earlier). I was working part time, and needed to entertain myself while my father was working. Spending a lot of time alone, I really got into horror flicks. My dad would take me to the video store & I'd load up on my first time rentals of movies like Evil Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Basket case, Sleepaway Camp, Night of the Living Dead and Nightmare on Elm Street...I got into reading a lot of Stephen King at that time, as well. It's nice to have these movies to serve as a catalyst for a rubber band effect in bringing back the memories of seeing many of these great movies for the first time years ago.

Cronenberg's The Fly is about to hit the dvd player....more to come later.

Oh, The Horror!!

As the Halloween weekend approaches, so does plans for my annual ‘Scary Movie Marathon.’ Every year, I plan out a healthy smorgasbord of horror flicks to watch, and try to get through as many as possible over the course of the weekend. I usually try, at some point, to make it through 24 straight hours of screaming, and blood spattered screens, but tend to nod off here & there. This year I plan to document the festivities here in my Bloda-Blog, and am enjoying every minute of the planning stages.

Today finds me taking an extended lunch break at work to head over to Walmart & Best Buy, to pick up a few more DVD’s to add to the collection. Not really sure what I’m gonna buy, outside of Miike’s ‘Audition,’ a great, screwy Japanese flick. My collection already has most of the classics, so I’m looking to pick up some obscure stuff, or some older flicks from the 70’s that I do not yet have. Outside of that, I have no idea what movies will end up coming home with me. Exciting stuff, eh?

I used to love Halloween when I was younger, and would dress up in elaborate costumes in attempts to win contests, a handful of which I did. From Freddie Krueger to Austin Powers to a guitar totin’ hippie-dude, I used to have fun dressing up & hitting the bars all decked out. Over the last few years, the appeal for dressing up and paying for overpriced drinks has diminished. I fully enjoy watching a full weekend of horror flicks at home, and it tends to be less taxing on my bank account. Just buy a few new horror movies per tradition….buy a case of tasty beer…pack the pipe and sit back & enjoy the bloodshed!

More details to come as the madness ensues once I leave work this afternoon…

People & Things That Annoy Me

Ø People who get on an escalator and then stand on the step(s) as opposed to walking up/down while the escalator is in motion…

(Are we that fucking lazy that we need the escalator to do all of the work for us? I bet you’d be happier if someone invented an escalator that actually helped you on & off, as to have one less thing to worry about.)


Ø Bigots, homophobes, folks who abuse women & children, and religious zealots

(All you ever needed was to be hugged and told you are loved by mommy & daddy. And a punch in the head)


Ø Idiots on the highway who don’t use their fucking blinker…

(The blinker is that little ‘stick-looking thingy’ that juts out from the left side of your steering wheel, genius. You’re supposed to use it to indicate to those of us on the road behind you who do not have ESP that you are planning on moving into another lane)


Ø J-Lo, Jessica & Ashlee Simpson, Shakira, Penelope Cruz, Carson Daly, Carrot Top,

(I just don’t like ‘em. Talentless hacks, blowholes & stinkpigs galore)


Ø Forwarded emails of bullshit pyramid schemes, false/erroneous gross-out or inspirational stories & urban legends…

(C’mon, people—it doesn’t take someone with a Mensa level IQ to Google these things and determine if the stories, offers, etc, are true, before taking them as gospel & forwarding them on to 115 people, expecting in return a funny dancing cartoon character on your desktop, a check from Bill Gates, or a special wish granted before the end of the day)


Ø Moochers

(Especially at shows/concerts. I planned ahead & bought tickets to the show ahead of time. No you can’t have my extra ticket for free, simply because you expect me to give it to you. Feel free to get pissed at me, too, when you ask me if I’ll give it to you for $5 and I say no. What’s that? Do I have a smoke you can bum? No, ‘brother,’ I don’t smoke. And no, you can’t have one of my wife’s. Sorry, I don’t have an extra beer on me, either. I just bought this from a vendor at Shakedown…walk your ass down there & buy one yourself. Oh, I see….your friend’s car broke down at the last show or one of your buddy’s was arrested, so you’re panhandling for bail money. Still can’t have a beer)*


Ø People who read over my shoulder when unprompted to do so by me

(Get your own damn book, newspaper, magazine, laptop, etc)


Ø Top 40 cover bands made up of musicians with arrogant attitudes

(Gimme a break!! You’re a band who exclusively plays other artists’ material!! Shitty material at that! Where do you get off thumbing your nose at me like you’re Jim Fuckin’ Morrison?? Okay, pseudo-celebrity boy, leave me alone & go play some Nickleback for the crowd. I’m sure I could find my voice in a bottle of bourbon & insist to people that I am as cool as Jack Daniels himself, but in the morning when I sober up, I’m just Lance again. But at least the night before, I wrote my own original song. With armpit farts for basslines. Now that’s talent!)



* Mind you, I’m more than happy to kick a beer or nug down to kind ‘Heads and kinfolk who give back to the scene in their own way. I just have problems with the kids who expect too much for too little. Or nothing at all, yet refuse to give a little of themselves.

All Play & No Work Makes For A Long Day

An interesting thought came to mind yesterday as I was sitting here at my desk at work, waiting for some actual work to do. What the hell did people do at work during lull times before the advent of the internet? I recently took a business analyst position in the company I’ve been working with for the last 9 years. I figured a career change of sorts would be good for me, as the position demanded a lot of new training & new roles/responsibilities for me. I figured I would be busy all day, with tickets coming in right & left, demanding my attention.

I was wrong. I’m lucky if I actually have 3 hours of work during most of my workdays. Sure, there are exceptions, but for the most part, I spend many hours of my day trying to look like I’m busy working. And this makes for long 9 hour days at the workplace.

There are a few college co-op students who work in my group, and they can usually keep themselves busy with schoolwork. Or getting together to bullshit about classes or extracurricular activities. Somehow, our manager doesn’t seem to mind this. However, my manager is usually extremely busy most of every day, so she can be away from the office for hours a day. As for me, well, I can only entertain myself on the internet for so long before it becomes a bore. Kicking my feet up on my desk & busting out a book would be far too obvious, I’m now taking advantage of the opportunity by allowing these moments to provide me time to get some thoughts down for the ‘ole blog.

Seriously, though—I would imagine that many are in the same boat as me. Maybe that’s part of the problem. We have way too many people being paid too much money to do less than a half day’s work during a full day’s shift. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not about to hand of my comfortable salary because of the principle here. It just amazes me that during my 9 years in Corporate America, I can say that a majority of the people who I have worked with were not keeping busy with work most days. After years of this, you get pretty good at looking busy, but it still sucks that the days drag.

I wonder if folks actually worked all day in the past. It seems there would have been far fewer technological distractions like cell phones, internet, instant messenger, electronic solitaire, Blackberry’s…what did these poor lackeys do when they had lull times in the past? Oh yeah….

They drank & smoked.

Some 'News' Should Be Unworthy To Print

I’m not exactly sure why, but I find my amazed on a daily basis by some of what seems to constitute ‘news’ here in the good ‘ole U-S of A. And I’m not talking about issues like the bird flu, natural disasters or updates on the (bullshit) war in Iraq, and the further loss of our soldier’s lives…

No, I’m talking about other of life’s important news/issues, which warrant front page headlines, repeated ticker-tape news scrolls, and ‘coming up on news at 7’ teasers on major media outlets. Like celebrity weddings & divorces, celebrity spats & pissing matches, news of celebrity babies taking their first solid shit, and the like….

Take today, for instance. Both CNN & MSNBC have links touting the amazing feat that was Madonna getting back on a horse for the first time since her accident this summer, courtesy of the David Letterman show. Stop the fucking presses!! This is some seriously noteworthy news here. What would our daily lives amount to, if we were not provided such vital information that must be important to the world at large? I could give two flying fucks if video surfaced showing Madonna having an orgy with the cast of Guy Ritchie’s next movie, let alone caring about her strength and tenacity that helped put her fears aside enough to take that next big step in the world of post-horse-accident-injuries.

My god!! Someone snagged pictures of what appear to be Jennifer Aniston kissing Vince Vaughn!! Step aside, update on the planned Martin Luther King memorial---we’ve got more pressing matters to discuss!! I mean, we’re talking ‘Vinnifer’ here!

In other news today, Paris Hilton reportedly slams Nicole Richie on her new record. Oh no she dit-nt!! New record? Since when does a leaked video showing your lifeless self laying like a lump of flesh while some other pseudo-celebrity pokes his manhood at you, earn you the sudden pop star ability that others have worked at their entire lives? I guess being a trampy, talentless celebutante gives Paris rights & privileges that us common folk aren’t privy to. Apparently, the track talks about how Richie used Hilton and how she would never be famous without the party-loving blonde, according to a pal, who adds, "As she was playing it to me, she was just laughing and said, 'This one's all about Nicole!'" Maybe I’m missing something, and this really is more important than the hundreds of thousands of job losses due to recent hurricanes.

Such ‘news’ stories really should be confined to the ‘E’ Entertainment channel & website, so that Ted Casablanca (I’ll be the bastard gave himself that last name) can be the one to break these oh-so-important ‘Ted-bits’ to the world. God, I’d like to punch that man in the face as he’s talking celebrity news out of the side of his mouth in that weird way that he talks so self importantly. Seriously, these ‘E’ folks have convinced themselves, and many throughout the world, that celebrity goings on are newsworthy material enough to warrant a friggin’ network television station. Am I the only person who could care less whether or not the birth of TomKat’s child will be a Scientology* birth? Or that Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner, was raced to the hospital from the set of Boston Legal after complaining of some lower back pain? Nobody cares if I get a pimple on my ass, so why am I supposed to care about the everyday meanderings and activities of the rich and famous??

* The couple would have to maintain a vigil of total silence in the delivery suite. The organization believes pregnant women must not scream during labor as it is apparently traumatic for babies. The bizarre ritual - which Scientologists believe should be carried out to prevent children from turning mad. Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard tells his followers in his book 'Dianetics': "Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save both the sanity of the mother and child and safeguard the home to which they will go.”

Baby Talk. What, Me Worry?

In an effort to spur my creative juices and get back to a daily writing routine, I figured it’s about time I make use of this blog I started oh, so long ago. Where do I begin? Today finds me back home in New York, after a two year stint in the Dallas area. My wife (Amy) and I moved back to the Rochester area at the end of August, and have been settling back into the East Coast lifestyle. The faster paced, more musically diverse, it-sure-does-feel-like-home, lifestyle. Of course, with the move back to the land of friends and family comes a new step in my life that I must consider…

Babies.

During our two years in Texas, it seems that most of Amy’s close friends were knocking out kids right & left. Married friends, live-in lovers….they were all busy gettin’ their family on while Amy and I continued to revel in ‘us time.’ My sister would constantly question if we were ‘making babies’ yet, to which the answer was always no. The easiest explanation as to why was our location—we weren’t thrilled with the idea of having children while living 1600 miles away from everyone we knew and trusted. Other reasoning included the fact that we just weren’t in a hurry to have kids. We married almost 3.5 years ago, and wanted to enjoy time alone together before rushing into the family thing.

Then, in July, I was informed that the organization I worked for (to which I had relocated to from the NY area 2 years prior) was closing shop at the end of September, and that we were all being laid off. Thankfully, I found a better job with the same company back in NY, so Amy and I left the Lone Star State and relocated back to Western New York. Our lives were immediately invigorated by familiar faces of friends and family who we did not have the pleasure of seeing during our time in Texas. Along with this came the visiting and meeting of all of the babies that Amy’s friends had while we were away. And I’m serious when I say it seems that the entire core group of Amy’s good friends had children in the last 2 years. Hell, even my youngest brother had a kid while we were away.

I’m afraid that Amy is dealing with the first stage of ‘Baby Fever.’ Stage one seems to include buying baby gifts for friends & family members…cooing and ogling over the adorable children. Of course, she is still happy to give the little ones back to Mommy or Daddy when the aroma from the happy green surprise in their diaper wafts up as she holds them. It’s evident to me that Amy is approaching stage two territory, by the more frequent jokes and subtle hints in regards to our baby plans now that we’re back home. I’m sure it won’t be long before she enters stage three territory, chasing me around the house with a tube of K-Y in one hand and a turkey baster in the other.

There’s a part of me that feels a sense of forced adulthood when I think about children as they might relate to my own life. Sure, I’m ready for kids, and I know Amy and I will be wonderful parents, but the thought of life changing so drastically and in so many ways is a daunting one to me. Last minute weekend plans with the guys won’t be so easy….late night movie beer-a-thons will no longer be my weekend norm…and the dirty diapers…oh, the dirty diapers.

Being that Amy and I are 30 now, we know that if we are going to start a family, then it has to be soon. We don’t want to be older parents who are out of touch & can’t relate at all to our children as they grow up. I guess that means I need to start preparing myself for the inevitable. And to practice shedding ‘happy’ tears, as to mask the terror in my eyes when I am finally told that I’m going to be a father.